A little too far

It’ll always be Grace

Attachment theory is an interesting thing to say the least. They say that there are 4 attachment styles. Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. It’s the most absurd thing to even pretend that there is something as Secure as attachment. 

Attachment - a strong emotional bond between two people, or the process by which that bond forms

A strong emotional bond is never secure. There is no perfect combination of emotion. 50/50 doesn’t work because both parties aren’t giving it their all and if two people are half-assing it then you’re missing out on the spice of life.  On the other hand, 100/100 doesn’t work because if you give someone your all, you’re permanently vulnerable and at some point 100 leads to burn out.

The fearful and avoidant attachments are how we know we’re in a place of no return. When you struggle with trust and have issues being close or emotionally intimate then one day you realize you can’t do without the person. You’ve accidentally grown to only trust one person and anything worth saying is only meaningful if they hear it.

All the while, the anxious attachment makes us feel alive. It’s what makes us try to keep the spark alive, why we celebrate anniversaries and valentines day. The feeling that we can get abandoned any day is why we try so hard to keep the fire burning in love.

So don’t tell me about security when there will always be ‘the one that got away’ but next time you meet them and they “warn you, I’ll break your heart” you can look confidently and let them know its “already broken”